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Pretty Please - add it to our Events forum(s) and add to the calendar! >> 
Growing Old
- Thread starter Basil
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OP
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Who remember this guy?I remember that and at the same time, our phone number was 2 numbers, no exchange! That was a couple of years ago!
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junior samples
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POPCORN
mikephillips
Yoda
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How about the so called "party" line. My folks were on one when I was a kid.
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THE A-TEAM premiered on NBC 40 years ago today. Look for a reboot as The AARP Team.
OP
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I hear the Rolling Stones are going back on tour as the Rolling Kidney Stones.
mikephillips
Yoda
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But they won't be playing any concerts where the audience is on an open grass lot, they don't want to have to open with "Get off my lawn you people while waving their canes about.
OP
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“Hey (hey) You (you)
Get off of my Lawn..”
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WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do..."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would?"(with a hurt look)
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)
WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house.."
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do.."
WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"
HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."
WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?
HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times."
WIFE: "Would she use my clubs?
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."
WIFE: --silence--
HUSBAND: (thought balloon) "Dammit"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do..."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would?"(with a hurt look)
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)
WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house.."
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do.."
WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"
HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."
WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?
HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times."
WIFE: "Would she use my clubs?
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."
WIFE: --silence--
HUSBAND: (thought balloon) "Dammit"
OP
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Three guys were standing at the gates of Heaven waiting for St Peter (no relation to our JP) to tell them if they were getting into Heaven or going the other way.
To kill time while waiting, they struck up a conversation, the second guy asks the first guy, "So what happened to you to bring you here?"
The first guy tells him, "well, I was going to surprise my wife and come home early. But, as I entered our 5th floor apartment, I could tell that someone had just been there. The bed was all messed up and there was one man's sock on the floor. Infuriated, I looked out the open window just in time to see the culprit leaving our building. I was so angry that I had a surge of super human strength and I picked up our refrigerator and threw it out of the window at the guy!" "I guess the strain was too much for me and I had a heart attack."
"What about you," the first guy asked the second?
The second guy says, "well, I'm not really sure. I was just leaving my apartment to head back to work and all of the sudden the lights went out and here I am."
The second guy turns to the third guy and asks, "so, why did you end up here?"
The third guy says, "well, I'm not sure either. One minute I was sitting in this refrigerator...."
To kill time while waiting, they struck up a conversation, the second guy asks the first guy, "So what happened to you to bring you here?"
The first guy tells him, "well, I was going to surprise my wife and come home early. But, as I entered our 5th floor apartment, I could tell that someone had just been there. The bed was all messed up and there was one man's sock on the floor. Infuriated, I looked out the open window just in time to see the culprit leaving our building. I was so angry that I had a surge of super human strength and I picked up our refrigerator and threw it out of the window at the guy!" "I guess the strain was too much for me and I had a heart attack."
"What about you," the first guy asked the second?
The second guy says, "well, I'm not really sure. I was just leaving my apartment to head back to work and all of the sudden the lights went out and here I am."
The second guy turns to the third guy and asks, "so, why did you end up here?"
The third guy says, "well, I'm not sure either. One minute I was sitting in this refrigerator...."
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