TR3driver said:
Basil said:
<span style="color: #FF0000">MEMO from The Emperor to Ron and Randall:</span>
<span style='font-family: Verdana'><span style="color: #006600">3. Ask for clarification.</span> </span>
<span style='font-size: 14pt'><span style="color: #336633">Funny </span>... </span>That's exactly what I thought I was doing !
I really have better things to do than to get in the middle of this, but I'm going to be frank with both of you guys. First of all, Randall, I did not make that post to start a debate with either of you. You have to understand that in written communications, things can often be taken wrong because there is no verbal inflection in the written word. Ron, you should heed that lesson as well. Thus, sometimes things can come across harsher or at least differently than they are intended. For example, in your reply Randall, you started off with "I give up..." If you had been replying to me, I'll admit I would have read it as a bit more terse than perhaps you meant it, but nonetheless, it did sound like you were being rather condescending, even if that was not your intent.
TR3driver said:
Ron, you obviously have a lot of experience working on cars & various machinery. Believe it or not, I do respect that.
I expect that you are both quite knowlegable. If we can get you guys to communicate without 1) saying things in a manner that could be taken wrong and 2) on the other side of the coin, not being so thin skinned if someone disagrees with you. That way, everyone on the forum would benefit from both of your experiences.
TR3driver said:
But we all make mistakes and mis-statements from time to time (I'm definitely no exception), and one of the purposes of a public forum (AFAIK) is to discuss such things. Please don't take it so personally, I am NOT trying to attack you.
How true, no one is perfect. However, understand that this is actually a <span style="color: #3333FF"><u>private forum</u></span>, owned by yours truly. I have invested (sunk) many thousands of $$$ dollars for dedicated servers, software and high-speed data lines and more hours than I could count trying to make this the best forum possible. To that end, I decided from day one that BCF was going to be a "kinder gentler" forum, free of the flame wars and bickering that you see these days on so many other forums. If you ask any member who has been here for any length of time, you will hear most tell you that BCF is unlike (in a good way) 99% of the forums out there in its overall civility and comraderie among members. Not to toot my own horn too much, but that is no accident - it is by design. I would close the forum before I allowed that to change.
TR3driver said:
But neither am I going to clear it with you before I disagree with what you've said.
Randall: disagreeing is fine. However, you might consider tempering the tone of your disagreements. And in fact, asking reasoned questions might be better than just a shoot-from the-hip disagreement. For example, had I wanted to learn more about the connection Ron made between valve seat recession and explosive destruction, instead of “I give up…yadda yadda yadda” I might have simply asked: "Ron, that's interesting, but I'm not sure I understand the relationship between….blah blah blah. Could you explain what you mean?”
Ron: Don't take every disagreement personally. To be honest my friend, while I thought Randall could have stated his disagreement a little better, I did not read it as an attack on you. Often times on the internet, people come off differntly that they intend, or take things differently, which often gets mistaken for an "attack" when that may not have been what was intended at all. Randall said he respects your experience and he also said he was not trying to attack you. My request to you, sir, is to take him at his word.
Both of you: As I said in my original reply, I'm not singling anyone out here nor am I taking sides. Furthermore, I'm not going to debate any of what I've said and I'd appreciate it if you want to iron things out you both do so via PMs rather than here in the forums. You both strike me as intelligent, knowledgeable guys, and I really think the forum can benefit greatly from both of you.
Ok, I've just spent the better part of an hour on this response. I hope this can be put to bed now.
Basil
Basil