Hey Guest!
Hey - did you know if you click on the title of a thread it will take you to the first unread post since you last visited that thread?
but were afraid to ask: 
STOP!! Never post your email address in open forums. Bots can "harvest" your email! If you must share your email use a Private Message or use the 
smilie in place of the real @
Pretty Please - add it to our Events forum(s) and add to the calendar! >> 
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- The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless.
- Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision.
- Happiness is not having to set the alarm clock.
- When I get a headache I take two aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.
- Just once, I want the prompt for username and password to say, “Close enough.”
- Becoming an adult is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done.
- If you see me talking to myself, just move along. I’m self-employed. We’re having a meeting.
- Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags, or is it just me?
- I hate it when I can’t figure out how to operate the iPad and my tech support guy is asleep. He’s 5 and it’s past his bedtime.
- Today’s 3-year-olds can switch on laptops and open their favorite apps. When I was 3, I ate mud.
- Tip for a successful marriage: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she’s mowing the lawn.
- So, you drive across town to a gym to walk on a treadmill?
- I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
- I decided to stop calling the bathroom "John" and renamed it the "Jim". I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning. Old age is coming at a really bad time.
- If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.
- Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet
- Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
- Now, I'm wondering . . . did I send this to you, did you send it to me or have I only sent one copy?
- You don't need anger management. You need people to stop pissing you off.
- Your people skills are just fine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work.
- "On time" is, when you get there.
- Even duct tape can't fix stupid – but it sure does muffle the sound.
- It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free...and three sizes smaller.
- Lately, you've noticed people your age are so much older than you.
- "One for the road" means peeing before you leave the house.
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